Who you calling WEIRD?!

I've been tagged by a schizophrenic who isn't satisfied to think he's Napoleon Bonapart; no, this character thinks he either knows or IS Jesus H. Christ, which, I'm not sure. Not that that's a bad thing........hehe......

So, another one of these lists is loose on the net. I consider these things cancers eating away at the fabric of an otherwise tranquil universe. Six weird things about yourself. I am so amused how eagerly my compatriots rise to the occasion and list some of the most interesting tidbits about themselves, all of which I have filed and categorized for future use, in case I need to sell someone out to the NSA in exchange for not getting sent to Gitmo. Well, since I can't seem to come up with something to post that would be any less painful to read, I suppose I might as well succumb to this insanity and list my own foibles for all the world (well, OK, the infinitely tiny portion of it who come across my madness) to see. However, this is being written very slowly, as one man's weirdness is another man's perfect normality. Let me think........

1. For some reason, I think it is absolutely imperative that when I record an account number that begins in zeroes, that the number be begun with at least one of the zeroes to denote that the number after it is NOT the first number of the entire string, and to prevent any other number from being inserted ahead of it to change the number. For instance, the account number 00000587637854 is not 587637854, but 0587637854, so that if someone slips, say, an 8 before that 0587......then it's apparent that the number was altered after the fact. Not that anyone's likely to have any reason to alter that number, but if I wrote that puppy down, then it WON'T get altered, unless of course they white out the entire number, then the fix is obvious as hell. Call me crazy........

2. I have to have a hot bath every day. Not a shower, but a bath. I can't stand this Florida heat and humidity, but I love my VERY hot baths. I really like them after one of my 12 hour work days, to soak the dull pain out of my legs. The wife and I often share a bath, but she likes the water a bit cooler. Not sure if this qualifies as weird, exactly.....

3. I can talk something to death once I get going, especially concerning things I'm passionate about. Now, I realize this fully, yet at the very moment I need to realize it and moderate my motor-mouth accordingly, I fail utterly to realize that I need to shut up and let someone else get a word in edgewise, or at least abbreviate my resertation before the glazed look comes over their faces. It's almost like a convict's bad habit of walking out of jail and heading straight to the nearest convenience store with this asinine idea that they are actually going to get it right this time.......robbing it, I mean. This has to be genetic, and I bet I got it from my asswipe father, may he roast in hell........damn.....I don't believe in hell.....sigh.

4. I have this totally unrealistic idea, knowing human nature as I do, that absolute power does not necessarily have to corrupt absolutely. I have it in the back of my mind, refusing to acknowledge that it is a outlandishly romantic notion having nothing to do with reality that one man could actually rule a kingdom in such a benign fashion that all his (or her) subjects would absolutely refuse to ever let him retire. I believe that right and good is so fucking obvious to someone with a good grasp of logic and common sense that he could actually run the entire show in such a way as never to bring harm to the common man and stamp out all evil intent. Of course, even if this were true, it would do him precious little good to have all this good will and not have equally stand-up people surrounding him to enforce his dictates, while not practicing some of their own personal enrichment on the side. Who in this entire world could possibly be capable to ruling in such a fashion? Why, yours truly, of course. And to think I think Mickey is delusional...........

5. I believe I suffer from a "line" curse. Any line I get into, be it at the supermarket, the post office, it matters not where, that line will slow down drastically or stop for an extended period of time. Where once traffic ran smoothly, if I'm driving in that traffic, something will invariably turn it into a parking lot. If I am in the right hand lane of three lanes, and the middle lane is moving right along, if I dare pull into it, it will come to a screeching halt, simply because I got into it. I did something truly horrible in my last life concerning lines.........

6. I'm afraid of needles. So? Allot of people are. But, I work in a hospital, and I stick people on a regular basis. I see somewhat horrible things as a matter of course, and rare is it that any of it bothers me. My gloved hands have been up to the elbows in some pretty gross stuff. All part of the job. But come near ME with a needle, and I freeze. Oh, I steel myself and will get a shot if I HAVE to, but you'd think I was getting a spinal tap the way I approach the whole idea. The idea of something penetrating my skin just gives me the willies'.

Ok, so there you have it. The six weirdest things about me I could think of on the spur of the moment. I'm sure there are weirder things I could have listed, but there are limits on what I'm going to put out into bloggerville, where people who thought they already knew just how weird I can be would discover otherwise. I think you know what I mean.