Disorder in the House

If you have been involved in the painful process of clicking on that link you bookmarked entitled "Madness, Musings, and Melancholy" lately, then I feel for you. The quality of this blog has deteriorated to an all time low, and it's time for a change. Thus, I, THE Michael, have decided to do a little housecleaning around here and have fired the entire staff.

In order to find talent worthy of a blog of this calibre, I enlisted the services of some of the finest head-hunting firms the world over. Once I came to grips with the fact none of them were ever going to return my e-mails or phone calls, I decided I would hire from in-house. The hell with them. So, after much soul searching, intensive interviews, and in-depth background checks, I finally came up with three promising candidates; Me, Myself, and the equally talented, I.

Now I had to figure out the best positions to place these three remarkably adequate personalities. It was a toss-up as to who was going to get the position of Senior Editor, as both Me and Myself were equally up for the challenge, but Myself finally made the cut after a hard bout of thumb wrestling. Do you have any idea how challenging it is for Me to thumb-wrestle with Myself?

That left the positions of Writer and Producer to the final candidates. I am rather partial to producing, and since Me didn't object, I slid right into that job. Which left Me to tend to the Writing. Although I love to write, I can't run this whole show and do both jobs at the same time with any flair, so I was happy to leave the writing to Me.

So I sat all three down to discuss exactly how we were going to upgrade the image and quality of this blog. I suggested that we need more flash and less substance, since all the really popular blogs were quite colorful, with lot's of graphics and gifs. But, Me objected, stating rather forcefully that it was the truly talented writers who were getting all the real hits of any substance. Myself decided as Senior Editor that Me had made a stronger argument, especially since overall, none of us seemed to be all that talented in the flash department anyway.

It was Me who raised his hands and asked what we were expected to write about that was going to attract any more readers than we already had. After a period of painful silence and puzzled expressions, Myself suggested that we draw on our personal experiences, since they were somewhat unique and therefore potentially more interesting. "Yea, right!", snorted I, "Witchcraft, goats, and septic systems are REALLY going to draw in the readers.......no wonder this blog was going down the drain......pun intended!" "You have any better ideas, I would love to hear them." says Me.

Another period of painful silence followed and no grand ideas were forthcoming. That's when it hit me that this new team seemed to be no more talented than the one I'd just handed the pink slips to. With a sigh of resignation I sent all three of them immediately to a lush tropical resort with the implication that they'd be back on the streets if they didn't come back with some revolutionary ideas on getting this blog back on it's feet.

So there you have it, my faithful readers. If this blog doesn't get drastically better pretty soon, you can blame it all on Me, Myself, and I.