Getting to know you, getting to know all about you..........

Tim made some really great points concerning who we are and who other people might THINK we are based on what we say in our blogs. He's right when he says that a person is greater than the sum of his parts, and you simply can't decode those parts as seen in a blog and come away with a proper and accurate understanding of that person. Sorta reminds me of singer/songwriters and the ideas people get into their heads based on the songs these people create. Some of the worst people personality-wise write the most beautiful songs. It's a shame, but that's life. Get over it.

Which brings me to my twist on this subject. They say that first impressions can make or break you when it comes to relationships. This can apply to lovers, friends, coworkers, you name it; just about anyone that you relate to in some fashion or another. Thing is, though, if you make your assumptions based on that first impression, chances are you've really gotten it wrong. This has been a real problem for me, as I was born with this perpetual frown, or rather look of seriousness, upon my face. It hasn't helped me when it comes to first impressions. If there's one thing I have heard more of than I'd really care to hear, it's, "Smile!"

Well, dammit, I probably AM smiling, but doing it behind a neutral expression that Bob in his good graces installed on my mug when I was born that most people interpret wrong. Believe me, I might LOOK angry when I'm not trying, but you'd DEFINITELY know if I really WAS pissed off. I'm truly sorry folks, but right now I can't afford to have a plastic surgeon install a nice, friendly neutral expression on my face.

I suppose that makes me one of those people they are talking about when they say, "Oh, he's pretty damn nice once you get to know him." I bet friends of bikers say that alot. This is not to say that everybody is going to like me or get along with me, because lots of personalities just don't mesh. There are things about me that I have come to recognize over the years that could use some adjustment, but remembering that when it's a good time to do so isn't as easy as I'd like it to be. My major flaw is a mouth that is far too motorized than it needs to be. If you see a vein popping on my forehead and a look like I'm about to explode, relax, it's just me catching myself talking to much and trying my damnedest to shut up and listen, even though I have this need to interject something profound into the conversation. And, no, chances are it's anything BUT profound; I just happen to think it is. Thinking too rapidly rarely does me any good, but does provide lots of regret later as I slap myself on the forehead and ask my incredibly amazing self, "what in the FUCK where you thinking?!"

Despite all of it, my personality flaws and an unreadable face, I honestly think I am a rather nice and caring person. But, like I stated up THERE ^, that's based on a possibly flawed and clueless self-assessment. So, in the end, I have accepted that what truly matters is how I am perceived and understood by those who deal with me on a daily and prolonged basis that really counts. I mean, you may not GET me in that first five minutes, but you will eventually, unless you are a slave to first impressions, and nothing I do is going to overcome that.

So, as you read my blog, please don't think for one second that you truly know me. Yes, I hope that in the end, you wish to believe that I am a good person worthy to know, but you can't really know that without knowing me in flesh and blood. In return, I am not going to judge YOU one way or another, based on what you have written, for I am well aware how equally unfair that truly is. Except for that dweeb troll I suffered awhile back that is......I KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!