Founding Fathers

We need to return to the good old days, and I mean the good OLD days, when our founding fathers drafted a constitution and bill of rights that spelled it all out clearly; that all MEN were created equal. Now, I realize that they forgot to specify WHITE, Christian, Property owning men, but we are supposed to assume that's what they meant. They knew that in order to protect our freedoms from each other, we would need to be armed to the teeth, thus they protected our right to bear thermonuclear weapons if that's what it took. They deemed our freedom to speak our minds paramount, unless of course our minds veer from the path our government wants it to follow. They insisted that government have no hand in the promotion or dissuasion of religion, with the understanding that God fearing Christians of the right denominations decide what that means exactly. They wrote this document with the intention of protecting many freedoms, with equal clarity.
It is comforting to know that the founding fathers wrote this constitution with the belief that there would be no need for it to evolve with the times, to take into account all the changes that comes with progress and changing societal norms. Yes, they were true visionaries who said what they meant, and meant what they said, knowing full well that only right wing conservative Christian fundamentalists would truly understand the proper way to interpret it, the same way they are so good at interpreting the bible. They knew full well that sometime in the future, commie sissy atheist baby killing liberal judges would attempt to legislate from the bench, thus they spaced out appointments to coincide with the natural cycle of conservative administrations, insuring that the proper, right thinking kind of close personal friends of said administrations would be nominated and shoved down the throats of the Senate in order to return the balance of the court to the far right where it belongs.
It is also reassuring to know that somewhere out there is a secret department within a secret department somewhere in the NSA that is monitoring these blogs to insure that evil, atheistic kinds of thinking do not pollute the minds of the populace and interfere with the President's God-given right to wage war against dictators who dare rule their countries over oil fields that we may need someday to fuel our SUV's with. We need those SUV's to haul around all those Gideon Bibles that need to be distributed to those barbarians that might live in places not already paved over with good, hard American asphalt or concrete.
If you, my dear reader, do not see the logic of my argument here, then it is clear that Satan has influenced you, removing the ability to think logically, which we all know is simply one of his tools to remove you from God's grace. But, do not worry, for we will protect you from yourself, just as soon as we get the right kind of judges on the court to interpret the bill of rights the PROPER way.

Thank you and have a nice day.