Friday, November 25, 2005

My Finest Hour.......


Like another one of our compadre's mentioned, there really HAS been a dearth of posts during the holidays. Boy, you'd think they all had better things to do such as pig out on turkey and dressing, visit family, etc, then to waste time sitting in front of their computers and posting like good bloggers should! I suppose they neglected to read the fine print buried deep in the back of the Blogger.com agreement that stipulated that if they failed to post something within 48 hours, hellfire and damnation would rain down upon all mankind. Well, I for one have been busy blogging my little fingers off trying to make up for those lazy posters, putting in long hours on this keyboard in a gallant attempt to load up the servers at Blogger just enough to fool them into thinking everybody has been fulfilling their commitments according to contract. I may lose precious sleep and suffer carpel tunnel syndrome, but at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing I saved the lives of millions of people, including my blogging buddies who were to busy having holiday fun rather than caring about their fellow human beings.
Now that I have sufficiently canonized myself, I would like to make it clear that this was an entirely selfless effort on my part, and that I do not expect sympathy OR gratitude for saving our collective asses. Just knowing what a caring and industrious human being I am is quite enough to warm the cockles of my heart. I was hoping, of course, that I would be able to demonstrate my Rambo-esque ability to single handedly ward off the barbarians at the gate using only my wits and a multifunction, multi-barreled automatic weapon with one of those inexhaustible clips of ammo, complete with armor piercing shells and grenades that cause much more damage than is really possible, but NOOOOOO, I had to do it all with nothing more than my trusty Imac G-5, with only one, count it, one gigabyte of onboard RAM at my disposal. If I had to attempt this with dial-up, you'd all be wearing wings and strumming harps right now. Thank BOB for DSL! And of course, we should all be grateful that I didn't have to use Windows, for we surely would have had our gooses cooked when it decided to crash, or a virus snuck in and wiped out all my heroic efforts!
One thing I really appreciate about writing something like this is that those of you who know me might have fell on the floor laughing rather than wonder how people like me get on the net (aren't there safeguards in place to prevent things like this?)
I will, however, feel sorry for any newby who wandered in here not knowing what to expect and honestly thinking I meant anything I said up ^ there. Well, I hope you enjoyed this sneak edition of MM&M, and that you seriously understand that yes, we all miss you when you miss a post. You could be lying in a ditch somewhere bleeding to death for all we know. And that would be a BAD thing.

3 comments:

morningstar said...

single handedly you say Michael?? single handedly??!!! i do believe i did my utmost to man the barricades and type my lil fingers to the bone as well.. (pouting ,... oh btw i DO pout rather sweetly.. cheeky grin)

Michael - question.. is IT over yet.. huh?? is Thanksgiving over?? geeeeeeeez You are a nation who do love to drag things out dontcha?? We Canadians have one day - Thanksgiving Monday - to feed our faces and our bellies than back to work.......... i believe you guys are on.. what is it?? 3 days and still counting????

morningstar

Alex Pendragon said...

By Monday, the 28th, it will mercifully be all over. People will be back at work, unless their planes got caught in the jam or their cars got caught in the snow. The fowl insurgents will recover the bodies of their fallen comrades and nurse their wounds untill next year. Families will endure at least a week of turkey leftovers of various incarnations, and the mad rush to spend money we don't have on Christmas presents no one needs (or probably want) will commence. The month of December will be an orgy of the very mindless consumption I wrote about in "Consumption Junction'........

Naughti Biscotti said...

Hey Michael. You're not the only one blogging. Because of my damn flu, I'm stuck at home in front of the computer.