Ok, you guys have been waiting with baited.....or is that bated...hell, I'm never quite sure of that....breath for the post-Halloween extravaganza that I gave you fair warning about yesterday. Or maybe not.....whatever, here is the play-by-play as well as a few pics of the event as it occurred, reported to you by yours truly, THE Michael. If you come to the end of the report with "Well?" as a naturally occurring question, don't say I didn't warn you.
It took awhile to set up all the candles, the wife's ceremonial paraphernalia, prepare the fire, set up the camcorder, etc, which we did before the light faded. The wife and one half of the twins, otherwise known as Holly, dressed up in their spooky garb, which I must admit, they looked rather nice in, if you like black, that is. My outfit took a considerable amount of lack of effort, but it was adequate, or so the wife said. Anyway, by the time it got dark, and the candles were all lit and the fire started, the shade garden took on a whole new atmosphere, quite suitable for All Hallows Eve, if I may say so myself. The barking of the neighborhood dogs blended in well with the flute music I played on the boombox to add a little acoustic atmosphere. The redneck somewhere down the street revving up an engine for some reason only known to rednecks DIDN'T add to the ambience, but I suppose his foot got tired after awhile and that irritation went away in good time. Either that or he finally ran out of $2.75 a gallon gas.
The wife started the show by casting the circle, a pagan ritual that keeps you safe from whatever evil might be lurking about on a nice night like this. She paid homage to whoever is in charge of North, South, East and West, so that was covered, thank Bob. Then, I got to participate by taping a nice brass bell while she read off the names of our friends and loved ones who have left us. I hope they appreciate that we haven't forgotten them and that we miss them, especially my Mom, who I still miss terribly and who's ass I'm going to kick when I see her again for not clueing me in so far on how she's doing. I have to believe what Bob has told me, that it's all good. Most days I do.
Next was the leaving behind things we would just as soon leave behind ceremony which consisted of writing on a piece of paper what needed to go away and burning it, allowing the ashes to blow away with the breeze. I would like to make it clear to my creditors that I did not fashion my wish in such a way that includes them getting screwed out of their money. So chill!Then, I got to hold the end of some yarn while the wife went thru a complicated weaving and knot tying ceremony that consisted of nine knots and nine incantations designed to empower said knotted thing with special stones tied into the weave at even intervals to grant us a better year all told than the one that has passed. LIke I've said, this is all greek to me, but hey, if it works, who am I to judge? Besides, I have this thing for knots anyway.......evil grin.
Once we got all that out of the way, it was time to celebrate our impending good fortune with some carrot cake (don't ask, she had a craving) and some spiced wine and/or cider, depending on preferences. The pumpkin I carved a few days ago turned out to be quite fascinating to watch glowing in the darkness. Not a bad job for a novice, doncha think?
So, after the snack and a little conversation around the fire, the wife opened back up the circle and thanked the four compass points for their protection, just in time, for Holly's bladder wanted out of the damn circle....hehe.
Overall, I must say, as ceremonies go, it sure beat those boring hours I spent in Catholic churches reading all those rote praises to the Father, that Son of his, and their holy ghost. I have yet to figure out the holy ghost thing. Has anybody, really?
Instead of dry wafers of incredibly thin bread, we got carrot cake. And I didn't have to watch some priest horde the wine. All around, a better deal, if you ask me.
Nothing spectral showed up for the party, and so far I haven't seen any orbs or ghostly faces peering from the photos I took. Maybe they haven't figured out how to appear in digital yet, who knows? I haven't watched the video yet, so if anything shows up I'll let you know.
We didn't suffer any rude interruptions by nasty little trick-or-treaters or Christians protesting our Devil worship, so I guess the wife's circle of protection works after all. And just in case you were wondering, no, none of the goats were harmed in the production of this ceremony. I hope you enjoyed your holiday as much as we did, and may your new year be as blessed as I imagine ours will be.
10 comments:
Is that you THE Michael? Is this our first glimpse at what you look like? Thanks for revealing yourself and your celebration to us. I found it very interesting, what with my never having the opportunity to speak with paegans. Momma don't allow talk'n to devil worshippers. :)
Great pumpkin!!!
Which is it, bated or baited?
You wife is much too good looking to be associating with the likes of you.
i LOVED the report.. as always written with some humour that left me grinning from ear to ear..... am so glad you enjoyed the knot tying ritual....(my own version of evil grin)
morningstar
Shandi: Hun, we don't even believe in the devil, much less worship him. Grin. And no, I was in costume heavily made up to look like THE Michael.
:)
And Buf, old buddy, the wife thanks you for the compliment and says to go (&*%(*% yourself, she thinks I'm hot. hehe.
Oh, and I looked it up, it's bated, as in bate, as in Norman........no, wait, that's Bates
Thanks, morningstar, I'm glad you enjoyed it. However, no one got tied up.........darn it.
Nice! It's always important to keep the neighbors wondering. But where was the ritual roasting of the marshmellows and sacraficing of the Oscar Myer?
I don't know, Tim, it never occured to me......maybe marshmellows over ceremonial fires are sacrilege or something. She ran the show, I was just there to ring the bell.....laugh.
michael. i am aware that you don't believe in the devil. I was making fun of momma. :)
I always thought it was "baited".
I'll take bated for $50:
bated breath/baited breath - anxious, expectant (expecting explanation, answer, etc) - the former spelling was the original version of the expression, but the term is now often mistakenly corrupted to the latter 'baited' in modern use, which wrongly suggests a different origin. Many people seem now to infer a meaning of the breath being metaphorically 'baited' (like a trap or a hook, waiting to catch something) instead of the original non-metaphorical original meaning, which simply described the breath being cut short, or stopped (as with a sharp intake of breath). The expression appears in Shakespeare's The Merchant Of Venice (as bated), which dates its origin as 16th century or earlier. The word bate is a shortened form of abate, both carrying the same meaning (to hold back, reduce, stop, etc), and first appeared in the 1300's, prior to which the past tense forms were baten and abaten.
Love the post. (nice Beatles pic by the way...)
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