Day Two

Having forgotten to exile Shiloh to the bedroom at the other end of the estate, of course he woke me up early, and once I'm up, that's it, another attempt at sleeping in totally fucked by Man's best friend. Tonight the dog gets his preemptive exile.
In my not-all-that-earnest effort to find something to do today, I calculated how often and how severely the goats would be rained on and decided that turning them loose on my neighbors yard would outweigh any discomfort they might get from a few passing rain-showers, which are passing thru heavily this week, only because it's our vacation. The neighbor was quite happy, promising not to let out THE dog, the 200 lb. version of Cujo he has in addition to his German Shepard, which has wisely not challenged the goats and their horns. By three in the after said goats had inflated their bodies to three times their normal size with grass, which they will convert to valuable fertilizer.
The dump is closed on Sundays and Mondays (go figure), so today I hauled the smelly, maggot infested and quite aromatic trash to the dump in the infamous Goatmobile (those with any familiarity with the history of this blog may remember our 95 Ford Escort Wagon, which I, being the guy, drives to work and hauls the associated crap with). By making the return trip with the windows down, I usually can clear out the smell and the flies by the time I get back. Plastic sheeting protects the back area to some extent, but the interior for all practical purposes is screwed.
The wife, meanwhile, still awaiting the arrival of her mail ordered supplies for her new gel candle project, has discovered new and interesting things to clean, which are actually long neglected items like blinds, nic nacs, and other such dust collecting items.
Today I delved into iTunes and started listening to some of the podcasts. These are the audio versions of blogs, to some extent, as they are created by anybody and everybody, from rank amateurs to corporate america and mainstream media. The amateur stuff is actually a whole lot funnier. Lots of husband and wife teams doing these things, which counts me out, as my wife has no desire whatsoever to participate in such endeavors. Damn woman won't let me throw any orgies either.
Now, I have to admit that I not producing a podcast is a GOOD thing. If you ever heard my voice, my speaking voice at least, you would wholeheartedly agree with me.
In closing today's exciting episode of OUR VACATION, I would like to leave you with the immortal words of Weird Al Kankovic...........


Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright
Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night
There's no feeling any greater
Than to shoot first and ask questions later
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Terrorists attack us tonight
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson
That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad
You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead
Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Come on and grab your ammo
What have you got to lose?
We'll all get liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day