Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Blame this post on American Idol.......


I've dragged my sorry ass home from another 12 hours of joyous employment (sarcasm), been met by my loving wife with fresh coffee and a fine meal (pure heaven) and am now attempting to craft a coherent post for this fine (HA!) blog known throughout the civilized world (you're kidding me, right?) as MM&(last but not least) M. This will be extremely difficult as I am tired (want some cheese with that whine?) and American Idol is playing in the background (oh stop it, it sure beats homeless people trying to steal your newspaper blanket). I can, and I will do this. Whether or not I should be doing this remains to be seen.

I am so glad I was too old never to have tried out for American Idol. Last time I heard my own voice, it took shock treatments to bring me out of my walking coma.
Well, that was my SPEAKING voice. People actually clapped and cheered (and somehow missed hitting me with the gunfire) when I did my stint at karaoke at the world famous (what famous?) Attitudes, now defunct and razed to make room for a Rooms-to-Go furniture store. I swear that did not occur due to my singing. Why those people thought I could sing is beyond me. Go figure.

I love my new Ipod Shuffle, but it makes my breaks at work go by much to fast. I can't listen to it WHILE I'm working because it would drown out the sound of me being oppressed, and they can't have that.

I just got my W-2 form from work. If you notice my blog originating in some country like Belize or Nepal sometime around May, you'll know how the numbers added up.

I just glanced up and spied the late Mysty's portrait, and a streak of sadness touched my soul. All this over a goat.........

I've been weaning myself off the sangria and onto screwdrivers. I have been suffering far few headaches as a result, plus, there's been an added bonus of a bottle of vodka lasting far longer than the usual huge bottle of vino.

The wife has been in alot more pain lately. I've told her it might be a good idea to craft some pain-relieving spells. Since this isn't a more progressive state I can't suggest we plow up the back 40 and plant medicinal marijuana.

My new eyeglasses haven't come in yet. The wife's has. I'm being oppressed.

OK, considering everything, I stood and delivered a post that rivals anything Buffalo, Tim, LIghts, gina, cherish, the bobsy twins, OR wonder could ever have produced under the same circumstances. I also am having a fantastic sale on historic bridges this week, with an extra 25% off to my blogging friends.

Good Night and Blessed Be.

6 comments:

Naughti Biscotti said...

nice rant Michael. little peak into your mind. Let me know when the back forty is planted, I put you on the list for our next trip.

Gaye said...

About that historic bridge sale...we need to negotiate. And oppression really sucks, huh?

Paul said...

This peek into your mind is a little scary.

Time said...

How much do you want for the bridge?

morningstar said...

Ya sound just a tad "bitchy".. (cheeky grin).. seems to be the season for "bitching and ranting" dontcha think??? Trust me when i say.. just over the next hill is another day.. same shit.. but definitely a different day....

as for collars - maybe You should re-read.. i said IF the day ever comes.... not that it had.. i am having way too much fun with toothpicks et al.. (cheekier grin)

morningstar

Alex Pendragon said...

Sorry Shandi, we're doing it natural, but not THAT natural!
gaye......how about the Bridge over the river Kwai? It's got some history behind it and upkeep is easy, just a little bamboo here and there......

and yes, oppression creates a very nasty low pressure area.....

Paul, like my bio says, I'm mostly harmless. My nuclear program isn't progressing as well as I'd hoped......

Tim, it depends on which one you want......hehe

Morningstar........ah.......huh?

Cherish..........the pic is of that rapper wannabe who had a really good voice and an equally arogant attitude who got pretty far in last season's American Idol.......seems he tried to live the lifestyle based on those mugshots I ran across on the net.....